There's Always a Silent Audience

Elroy Berdahl is an amazing character in the chapter, "On The Rainy River." He is such a simple man who knew how to give Tim his space and let him make the decision between war and Canada, or right and wrong, on his own. Although, what exactly is right? Growing up, Americans are always taught freedom of choice and following your heart and blah blah blah, but then a draft comes along and forces one into something they may never have chosen for themself. I mean, technically if Tim did not want to spend four years of his life participating in something he knew nothing about, why should he? The laws and ways of the United States Government always seems so contradicting to me.

This chapter also displays Tim O'Brien and his internal conflict when deciding whether or not to illegally immigrate to Canada or to draft into the armed forces. He had to choose between two completely different lifestyles, leaving him in a rough place. There is the noble choice, and the choice that he wants and desires for himself. How is he supposed to easily choose between the two?

"I couldn't endure the mockery, or the disgrace, or the patriotic ridicule. Even in my imagination, the shore just twenty yards away, I couldn't make myself be brave. It had nothing to do with morality. Embarassment, that's all it was," (page 57).

Embarassment can be such a hinder to our lives, and sometimes we don't even realize it. Every day people choose to opt out on something due to fear of embarrassing themselves, especially in high school. There are several people I know, including myself, that chose not to participate in school plays, show choir, team sports, and other activities purely based on the fear of being inadequate and making a fool of themself in front of a crowd. Is it because the audience in our lives is not so silent as Elroy in The Things They Carried, or does it have to do with our self confidence? However, embarassment does not always have to be an inconvenience, but it can also be a motivation, too. How many times do you choose to make a moral decision because you are afraid of humiliation and an embarassing reputation? I know that growing up in a large family means that no matter where I am, someone there is most likely associated with my relatives. No matter what I do, someone from my family could and most likely WOULD find out. And if someone from my family finds out I did something immoral or illegal, I would never see the light of day again. I always feared what they thought of me and I wanted them to be proud of me; therefore, embarassment kept me out of trouble.

In this chapter, I was also confused on how crossing the Canadian border could be that easy? Wouldn't there be border patrol around the lake, too?